i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
