I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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