2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
NoShamevember. You game?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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