i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
