Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
