I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
