i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You took a bar mat shot.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
