i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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