I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
