then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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