Im at strip club and am horny
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
