My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
