Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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