Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
