you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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