Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
