things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
