I wish I could teleport
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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