Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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