If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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