Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
