You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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