Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
