why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
