ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
