Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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