some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
