dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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