I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
