uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i now understand why vodka
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
