I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
