Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
