Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
