Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
