you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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