Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
where are my eyebrows?
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