She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
