I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we're making bets on your personal life
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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