Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
