Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
