went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
