pop tarts are not kleenex
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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