i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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