Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
