I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
