The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
