who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
