I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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