HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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