In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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