we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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