My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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