Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
