My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
