whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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