I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
