I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
