I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
